2003-10-13 :: the thing is, I really am a coward.

When do people see the real me? Or.. maybe the question is when should I start showing real me.

I mean, people over here, the friends over here think I'm really strong.. Yep I'm getting back into this talk of how insecure I am bluh bluh.

But seriously, I hate meeting new people. I suck at it. I love making new friends but at the same time I absolutely hate talking to new people. I get so nervous.

But because I don't want to look too weak I pretend I'm loving it. Hide my fear: by going loud.

So as a result people have a wrong impression on me, sonomi=a loud person.

Really, I'm not. I'm a lot quieter. I love just sitting around talking to only a few people about something more meaningful than say.. which restaurant has the best food. (not that we ever had this kind of conversaion.. but you know what I mean)

I don't want a lot of acquaint. What I want is friends, soul-mates.. argh, can you get what I'm trying to say?

Well.. if you don't.. don't worry, all I'm saying is that I don't like the people's expectation on me and the wrong image of me they have in their mind.