2004-05-28 :: did you know? only 12 days left till I turn 20!

There's this girl who we've been friends since we were in grade 1. Since the day we became friends, I was always the one who'd be leading, deciding what to do. When I got back to Japan and had a little reunion, I found out that the relationship had not changed at all. Yeah, there were some moments when we thought "hang on.. she's a little different from what I can remember.." but most of the times, it was still me who were more *superior*.

About just over a month ago, she broke up with her long term relationship boyfriend. That made her mentally very insecure. She kind of lost a lot of her confidence and (apparently) felt as she had no one she could rely onto. Soon after that, I found myself being treated by her a little colder than before.

And one day, out of no where, she stopped contacting me.

Remind you, we live about 3 mins walk from each other, we saw about 3-4 days a week, talked to each other almost everyday, and it wasn't like we had a huge obstacle that was distracting us from seeing each other.

Knowing her so well, I kinda sensed that I must be the one who had done something wrong to her, not knowing exactly what it was.

That went on for about a month, and I couldn't stand any much longer, I thought "this is it, we have to decide whether we still want to be friends or not".

I talked to her and yes she was very angry at me. Apparently, I've always looked down on her. Remind you, I've never, and I mean, never felt anything like that towards her. But according to what she had to say, I've changed. I've changed into a person full of confidence (almost too much) and whenever I talked to her I've always looked down on her.

So I figured, "alright.. so seems like we are having a fight" and that fight, I tell you, was not pretty.

I won't tell you how it was, but at last, we came to an agreement last night that we'd be back as friends. Kind of a relief to me.

This kind of fight, I've never had it before. All I wanted to do was to slap her face and end it. It was just so.. disgusting. You know? There was just so much behind it but she won't say it and.. at the same time, we were fighting over the stupidest thing ever.

Oh well, it's all over now. All solved.

I've got 3 exams next week, and I haven't done anything yet.. Ooops.. I'm just so busy that I don't have a time to go for shopping, or go out have some fun, go out with my friends, work to earn some money or to see my boy. Despite the fact that I haven't been working (at a job) that much, I still have a quite a bit of spare money left in my wallet. What does that mean? We simply do not have time to spend much money other than buying our own lunch.

This sucks, really does. We want to have fun, have a *normal* uni student life; you know? go out, have a drink, get home early morning, sleep till 2pm?

I can cope with it because what we're doing at uni is interesting enough to keep me going. I've got to admit that this is the first time i've written some documents in English since I last updated my diary.. Since then, I haven't done anything in english other than speaking my friends on MSN and on the phone... and I do admit, that I'm starting to think in Spanish some time as well..