2004-09-17 :: IPODERAC

I'm still in México working everyday.

I'm leaving here in 8 days and I can't believe it... It has past so quickly.

Last night one of the fellow volunteers have left.. He's from England and all the kids loved him. He was one of those people who everyone loves. Had so much love to everyone and although the life of guys volunteers are so much harder than the girls he was one of very few guy volunteer who got along with the kids.

And he left.

What shocked me was that even though he was loved by all the kids there was only 1 boy who came to say good bye to him.

Tough kids, ey?

I've been thinking, for us the kids are the only one. The kids are the reason why we are here, but for the kids, we are one of the many volunteers who come and go.

It's like one way love.

I love them so much that I hate it. I love them so much no matter how shit they are, no matter how they act, how they talk to me. I just love them. And I hate it, because I really can't hate them.

In 8 days I'm leaving here and I doubt all the kids will say good bye, needles to say, cry for us. But still I don't want to leave. I had never worked so hard everyday in my life. So tired everyday. Yet I am happy here. I feel like I'm actually doing SOMETHING for the first time in my life.

There are so many issues in this institution. The system here is really bad. Not the official one but the unspoken rules between the 72 boys. I've only been here for a month and I guess I only am seeing the very top of the iceburg. I can't judge whether this place is good or not because I've only been here for such a short time, nor that I could decide whether I REALLY do love this place or not.

I should come back. I have to come back here.

I'm glad I came here. I have learnt so many things which could not been learnt from the books or the life I live back in Japan.

I wanna thank everyone. I wanna tell the kids how much I love them. I wanna tell everyone how much I love this place. I love IPODERAC. I love Mexico. I love my job and I am proud of myself for being here.

Should be modest? Sometimes you have to admit that you are doing something amazing.

Well it had been an amazing month. Still have 8 days left and I really am going to try my best to make that 8 days better than last 32 days.

Try to update it as often as possible..