2004-10-23 :: to know even one life has breathed easier because I have lived..

Hey,
I know I really should update this more often, but since I've gone back to the habit of writing a *book* diary, I don't need this place to scream what I have to scream..

I really wanted to say what I've been thinking about for this 2 past weeks and what I feel about.. everything. But then yesterday, I went to this Lecture&Forum thing held by UN (the guest list include the president of Finland) and today Japan's going crazy because of this non-stop strong earth quake, I don't know what I'm going to write anymore..

I really need to go and clean my room, so before I go, I quickly want to say, that, I had never loved someone so much in my life. In mexico, where I was working, all I wanted was those boys to be happy. I wasn't and still isn't expecting to get anything back from them. I don't even want them to love me back (though it hurts me to think that they might have forgotten me). I just hope one day, they leave IPODERAC and have a *normal* life: not having to wake up at 5am, milk the goats and clean the house before they leave for school, drinking the real milk not the powdered, get to hang around in the town after school, watch the favourite TV show with a bag of chips or something, not having to work just so they can earn pocket money from the age of 7 and not having to eat rice, frijoles (beans) and something else everyday. I hope that someday they have a family, a HAPPY one. Something they couldn't have.

I really want them to be happy. Seeing their sad faces (which they rarely show) really hurts me.

You remember that Success quote? "To laugh as often and much..."? Rememeber the last line??

"To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded"

This is my goal. The goal of my life. What I want to do for living. I might not be able to have a lot of money, live in a huge house with fancy clothes. Cool car with a great audio system. But I will be the happiest with the pair of dirty pants and a buggy T-shirt if I know someone, even ONE person is living in a little less tough life because of me.

Now I've started what I really want for my life, I can't stop myself from writing, but I really should go. Gotta clean my room..

There had been 9 big earthquakes in last 1 hour. Who knows when the big one's gonna hit us. Who, seriously, knows when we're going to die or not. We often try to forget the fact that we die someday, but I think that's the one and the only thing we really shouldn't forget about.

..My grandpa had cancer and had an operation, AGAIN. 3rd time..

I'm not making sense anymore. I'm going. I'm going to live to my fullest. I don't want to regret. I want to die knowing that I have made a change to someone.